Honesty is my best policy. Notice I said “my” because not everyone agrees nor indulges in the same. Also I have a serious problem of not keeping my thoughts in my mind. I can’t seem to ignore bullshit pouring on me with sweet nothings. I just cannot, can you? Should you? Should I?
People say sometimes its “okay” to not to tell everything, but if nothing is really wrong then why not? That has always been my question. Maybe the other person can’t digest it, but that can always be sorted and learnt. Day 1 say something about topic A, listener dislikes it. Day 2 say something about topic A.5, listener dislikes it. Clearly, stop talking about topic A. Lesson Learnt.
My blabbers range from zero brain usage to oh my holy mother of god conversations. I have my days. I talk about everything from the “there were big fluffy clouds today” to “core competency of Indomie is instant food production”.
The reason I don’t hold things is because I feel if I don’t say certain things, even unimportant things I’m cheating? I’m hiding things…all that. And some times I just feel burdened. The thought keeps roaming, lingering, creeping over my day till it’s not out of my system. Honestly, I pity people who hear me talk all day every day but some things are entertaining. They can vouch for that 😛 This also explains why I can’t be serious all the time. I can’t act my age or be comfortable in a serious situation. I rather pretend like I didn’t notice the problem and go to a safe spot. The most ironic part: I have random conversations (sometimes they make sense) a lot, but when it comes down to consoling…I am at a loss for words.
I was told to try Headspace (meditating app) to fix my overworking brain. I got through 6 out of 10 days perfectly till it didn’t work and I was of course lazy. Waking up in the morning and meditating only made me feel sleepier.
So guess what I do? I still blabber a lot but I work a lot too. Keeps my cpu busy. Win-Win